Motivos para llegar a casa

Cuando uno ya ha fracasado suficientemente en la vida, acontece el abandono. El dejar pasar la desazon y el vinagre entre las juntas del cuerpo. Solo permanece un sabor a vida en contadas heridas, incolumenes y anonimas. Puntos debiles que alimentamos porque nos identifican. Son gotas de verdad que causan verdad y que mantenemos aun cuando comportan verguenza y desamparo. En los noventa minutos somos vulnerables y simples como la mecanica de un lazo de bebe. Son los motivos intimos que te llevan a buscar el regreso a casa. Hay muchas alegrias en el retorno a casa. La familia, el desayuno en el bar con periodico. Otras son secretas y se compran a escondidas por correo o se satisfacen el domingo por la tarde, en rito tribal carpetovetonico, con decenas de colgados, bar del barrio. Racistas en su mayoria que ahora deben depositar toda su fe en un mesias de 1"69 que, encima, resulta que es negro.

Andrei Chikatilo es devorado por mis hijos

Cuando conoci a Andrei pense que era un episodio ovni curioso, una falla en la naturaleza, y nada mas. Apasionante pero plano, en la saludable lejania de la enfermedad. Aqui, en Los Balcanes, reconozco su rostro real. Hay mas.

Andrei solo dejaba los huesos. Tenia verdadera hambre. Rostov, como Bulgaria, dan apetito. La escasez es un adjetivo vacio. Todo a lo lejos nos parece sencillo. Andrei es adorado por miles de seres comodamente. El carnicero de Rostov, en esa aridez sovietica, no aparenta un ser con unidad familiar e hijos.

Andrei era un comunista irredento. Aqui hay muchos. Si para tantoos la familia es una prision o una mentira social, el comunismo es una familia millonaria en miembros, funcionarios de prisiones y padres represores. Ahora la familia de Andrei es capitalista. Los crios compran camisetas con su cara descompuesta, su sonrisa pavorosa. Su historia es la de un tiempo que un imperio trata de ocultar y que gloso de forma ridicula a continuacion.

During the early part of the twentieth century, the former Soviet Union was often subjected to famines, especially in the Ukraine after Stalin crushed out private agriculture and sent many citizens to the Siberian Gulag. Some six million people died of starvation, according to Cullen, and desperate people might remove meat from corpses to survive. Sometimes they went to a cemetery, where corpses were stacked, and sometimes (legend has it) they grabbed someone on the street. Human flesh was bought and sold, or just hoarded. Children saw disfigured corpses and heard terrible tales of hardship. Chikatilo had grown up during several of these famines and one story that his mother told was how he once had had an older brother, Stepan, who had been killed. In a prison interview, he said, "Many people went crazy, attacked people, ate people. So they caught my brother, who was 10, and ate him." He might simply have died and been consumed, if he even existed (which could not be corroborated in any records), but Chikatilo's mother would warn him to stay in the yard or he might get eaten as well. It was a scary idea, but titillating. He also saw the results of Nazi occupation and of German bombing, with bodies blown up in the streets. He said that they frightened and excited him.

Most of his childhood was spent alone, living in his fantasies. Other children mocked him for his awkwardness and sensitivity. He began to develop anger at this age, even rage. To entertain and empower himself, he devised images of torture, and these remained a fixed part of his killings later in life. He had his first sexual experience as an adolescent when he struggled with a 10-year-old friend of his sister's and ejaculated. That impressed itself on him, especially as he went along in life unable to get an erection but able to ejaculate. The struggle became as fixed in his mind as the images of torture.

He went into the army but when he came home and tried to have a girlfriend, he found he was still unable to perform the sexual act. The girl spread this around, humiliating him, and he dreamed about catching her and tearing her to pieces. His life, as far as he could see, was now a disaster. He became a schoolteacher and did get married (which was arranged by his sister), but could only conceive children, according to the HBO documentary, by ejaculating outside his wife and pushing his semen inside by hand. Much like his mother, his wife was critical, which only made Chikatilo withdraw even further into his fantasy world. His mother died in 1973 when he was 37, and it wasn't long before he found himself attracted to young girls and began to molest them. It made him feel powerful, and when incidents were reported, they were met with cover-up and denial instead of prosecution, allowing a pervert to become a killer.

For true satisfaction, he needed to get violent, and by 1978, he killed his first victim. Since he was on the road quite often as a parts supply liaison, it became easy to find vulnerable strangers, dominate them and murder them. He didn't have to go looking for them, he said. They were always right there and they were usually willing to follow him. He had read the newspaper reports about the murders when the press was allowed to print them and had known it was only a matter of time before it would all end. Being arrested, he admitted, was a relief. Chikatilo believed he suffered from an illness that provoked his uncontrollable transgressions. He wanted to see some specialists in sexual deviance, and said that he would answer all questions. (Lourie says this was part of Kostoyev's plan.)He was sent to Moscow's Serbsky Institute for two months for psychiatric and neurological assessment, and it was determined that he had brain damage from birth. It had affected his ability to control his bladder and his seminal emissions. His mother criticized him for it repeatedly, and was often cruel. He had deviant fantasies. However, after all the reports, he was found to be sane. He knew what he was doing and he could have controlled it. That was good enough for the prosecutor.

Licenciado, profesor, asesino, psicopata, prisionero, ejecutado.

Raza aria

Heidi Klum habria dado grandes satisfacciones al Fuhrer. Sus muslos reivindican a gritos la diversidad del genero y la irrefutable existencia de genes mas consistentes que otros, de seres superiores, de historias de superioridad evolutiva. Su belleza sobrevive a toda coyuntura psicosomatica, hasta cuando el padre del primero era un playboy anciano y gordo y el del que viene un negro lleno de cicatrices. La evolucion tambien puede devenir involucion. Y es que esto de la perfeccion es cosa de cada dia. No te puedes descuidar nunca.

Mojar el pan en la sangre

Quien se lo apunta? El uso de los acontecimientos en beneficio propio. Leccion 2005.

Ponemos caritas...

y nos olvidamos de incrementar el presupuesto de Defensa, de acabar con corruptelas en el Ejercito, de llamar guerra a la guerra y reconocer que es necesaria...

Necesito empezar a hacer esta clase de cine...

La noche en las cimas de Vitosha no son duras por el frio, la humedad, el sudor, las horas de pie, los mosquitos, el rodaje de lluvia, el barro... La condicion mas severa, la penalidad autentica, reside en el corazon de los hombres, afines a un futuro alimenticio. No existe ningun proyecto comun, ningun afan complementario. Yo se que con muchos no volvere a encontrarme nunca. En unos casos se trata de una miserable circunstancia que lamentamos los mercenarios de este oficio. En otros, se trata de una bendicion mariana. Llego, incluso, a desear que se encuentre a mi merced para perdornar con soberbia la minuscula vecindad de sus almas, sin residentes. Las noches de Boyana, de Vitosha o Rudartsi solo son noches comunes que retratan obscenas melancolias, vidas que dejaron atras la esperanza. Solo quedan reprobos agitadores que aparecen cuando brilla su sino. Los ultimos porteadores del amor a este oficio permanecen ocultos, anonimos, buscando el consuelo de sus viajeros. El hombre es el problema. Y yo quiero rodar con Jenny. Dicen que es tonta y que es mujer. Suficientemente hermoso.

Integral

Wilber presenta su obra. Integral institute, integral naked.

Habas en todos lados

El uso de la informacion, el manejo de la realidad, siempre ha sido una especialidad de cierto tipo de gente. Todo puede cocinarse. Las habas existen en todos lados. Pasalo...

Abandonar

Hoy es uno de esos días que siempre regresan. Es un día de abandono. Un día en el que la mera percepción de un ideal cualquiera se torna un ejercicio de ingenuidad carpetovetiana. Todo lo hermoso es inalcanzable y casi falso. Todo es hastío y la boca se me llena de sequedad, de arena. Hoy es uno de esos días en los que deseas desaparecer. Me duele todo el cuerpo y no veo mas allá de mis sucios pies.

Adriana Lima pasa de ser referencia de belleza indubitada a representar la sencilla forma de vida que ya me merezco. Quieres ser menos mercenario y descansar algún día con la tranquilidad de poder comer dentro de 3 meses pero la espalda impide que pueda escribir mas paginas. Todo es traición y nada, ni siquiera ella, merece mi confianza. El futuro se cierne como un dolor de muelas. Bulgaria me desangra en un lugar tan poco Balcánico como el hotel HILTON.  Me muero a chorros. Ay.

Tyson Porn with Jameson Unlikely. Gracias Dios mio!

American boxing journalist Pedro Fernandez believes Tyson, who was jailed for six years in 1992 on rape charges, would triumph in the sex industry - with his alleged 14-inch manhood. (*See Link Below for Naked Picture of Mike Tyson)

This is the end: The abandoned

KAROLO'S END.